Counting Cards
by mandaree1
Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.
1. Tales of the my death are embellished

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

Tales of the temperatures in Hades are wildly conflated. In all actuality, Goldie feels a bit of a chill as she sips at her hellfire tea, watching the pretty reds and yellows in the distance. She can't help it if the reaper is anxious to kill her and Scroogey off, but she can certainly kick his bony ass in cards as a way to get out of it.

Her phone buzzes. The id says Scrooge McDuck. _What do you do if you have a crush on someone?_

Goldie stares at the message, dumbfounded, before responding. _That depends. Do you intend to seduce or push away?_

 _I'm not sure yet._

 _Then I'm of no use. Who is this, by the way?_

 _Scrooge._

 _Don't lie to me. Scrooge can't text._

She can feel the pause at the other end as they contemplate. Goldie wonders, idly, the timezone difference between Hades and Duckburg. She'd never bothered to check. _Webby_ , the phone said finally. _You tied me and granny up._

 _So you know who I am?_

 _Yes, ma'am._ (who in their right mind texts ma'am?)

 _I'm going to be real with you, then, Webby. I just beat the devil in a game of cards, and I haven't gotten any proper sleep or nutrition in a couple of days. You might want to ask somebody else._

 _Which would you recommend; seduction or pushing away?_

Goldie ignored her tea, going instead for the glass of ice water. It takes like a slice of heaven. _Seduction is more fun._

 _She's kind of a sentient shadow. My sentient shadow. Oh, and her maker is Magica de Spell._

Goldie snorted. She's heard worse. And it never hurt to have your enemies close- especially via safe, non-enemy family members. _Seduction. Seduce. Do it._

There's no reply. For a good ten minutes or so, Goldie thinks she's let off the hook. It's nice. She finishes her tea, then goes about shuffling her half-singed cards. She should probably get a new deck once she hit the surface world again. She would, once Charon finally got back from his break.

Her phone rings.

Goldie swears and hits answer. "Kiddo, if you think I'm even slightly more coherent in words than you've got another thing coming."

" _O'gilt_ ," a voice barked sharply, and she almost laughed.

"Oh. Hey, Scrooge. Did you give your girl my number, or did she steal your phone?"

"It's _my_ phone number! What do yew think?" Scrooge growled. "Ye cannae be telling her to 'seduce' people. She's a child!"

" _She_ asked _me_. I only answered honestly."

"Where in blazes are ye, anyway? The phone 'bout had an aneurysm when I took it from Webby."

"Funny you should mention blazes," said Goldie, eyebrow cocked. "The devil wasn't happy to play me on my own, Scroogey, I tell you that."

"Aw, cast me kilts. That was this month?"

"Aye, ye old codger." She un-crossed and re-crossed her legs the other way, letting the tingly foot wiggle impatiently. "I think you owe me. I'm setting myself up in a hotel for the night under your card."

"Ye donnae have my card!" he argued, but Goldie could hear him shifting for his wallet anyway, desperate to make sure. "Besides. I jus' changed the numbers again."

"Aw, hun, it's cute of you to think you can make a number combo I can't crack."

Scrooge made a noise like he swallowed something gross and slimy. "Can't ye just... I dunno..."

"Stay with you?"

"Are yew nuts? You'd rob me blind!"

"I just saved you from an unfortunate fate in a fiery circle of hell!"

"And how many fiery circles of hell have you betrayed me to, exactly? I can recall _five_ off the top of me head."

Goldie laughed. It was closer to ten. "Isn't the key to success rewarding positive progress?"

"Moving on," he answered. "Why are ye messaging Webbigail, anyway?"

"She sent me a text. I was bored." She shrugged, feeling the chipped wood on her chair dig into the fabric on her shoulders. "Charon's running late again."

"Aye," Scrooge grunted knowingly. "Laddie always loves to take his time."

"Better question. Why is _she_ texting _me_? I _did_ stuff her in a closet."

"She looks up ta' women like yew."

"How sweet."

"I didnae say that was always a good thing. Beakley is a great example. You? Not so much."

"I could teach her how to fence."

"I'm fairly certain she already knows how."

Goldie didn't doubt it. Any kid of Bentina's was bound to know a million and one ways to murder a man. "Okay, then. I could teach her how to pickpocket."

"Ach, Louie could teach her that."

"You're just making up excuses now," she said, faux-hurt. "You don't want me around."

"Aye. We do best to keep our relationship short spurts, long times apart. Maybe next decade ye can come by."

"I'll be there at one, or thereabouts. See about scrounging me one of those spare robes, okay? They're so soft."

"Goldie-" he started, but Goldie clicked end call, smirking.

 **Author's Note: I've been itching to write more Goldie lol. I dunno how far I'll get into this, or if I'll even finish it. It's more just for fun that to tell an actual story.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	2. Every wedding ends in fire- it's law

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

Goldie's always had a knack with telling time. She arrived at two o'clock precisely, to absolutely no applause. The boys were off at school- and, as she would find out later, Webby was off spying on the school from a safe distance- and far be it from Scrooge to walk to his own damn door. She didn't even get a rude greeting from Beakley, though that might draw back to her sneaking in via a conspicuously unlocked back door.

(That wasn't to imply Bentina wasn't aware of her, of course. She might be retired, but she was as sharp as ever. Just that Scrooge had asked her to let her be for now.)

(Shouldn't an old fuddy-duddy like Scrooge be at work at this time of day? Did he cut out _early_? Just to spend time with her?)

She headed for the nearest bathroom, which stands slightly ajar; hanging on a hook is one of Scrooge's robes, washed and pressed to perfection. Goldie can't resist a smile as she twisted the hot water knob.

The man of the hour is at his big and fancy table when Goldie finally decides to look for him, searching through piles of paperwork for Gods-knew-what. He pretended not to be affected when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind, leaning in to read what was in his hand, but heat radiates from his face. Even at his age, he acts like a teen when a decently pretty girl appears. She finds it hilarious. "Hey. Thanks for the robe."

"Yer paying fer the dry-cleaning," he replied promptly.

Goldie rolled her eyes. "I figured. Don't I at least get a hello hug? Or are your joints too rusty to lift your wings?"

"I already gave ya' a robe! Hot water! Precious money goin' down the drain fer that mop yew call hair. Ain't that enough?"

"You can say you don't want to."

Scrooge sighed. He pulled his carcass away from his chair ever so slowly, like every shift and shuffle was agony, and lightly patted her shoulders. Goldie yanked him in for an actual hug, snorting at the squeak he made.

"You know, in some worlds this could be considered a pass," he said.

"We're _married_ in some worlds," she said. "Did you ever tell those rugrats that?"

"I am _not_ tellin' them about the Demogorgana drive-by wedding."

"Oh, it wasn't a drive-by, technically. I mean, the city was on fire, but we still did the rights." Goldie shrugged. "And you know what the real pass here is? You're still hugging me three lines of dialogue later."

Scrooge pulled away just as abruptly as he'd been pulled into it, scowling up a storm. "Alright, ground rules."

"I just _got_ here," she protested.

"Yer not to steal anythin'. I'll have all my items cataloged before yew go to make sure of it."

Goldie snorted.

"Lena is livin' here now-"

"Is this the shadow creature I've heard about?"

"Aye," he admitted. "Don't bring that up to her. She tends ta' hover 'round Webbigail- I've seen the work she does to the people who hurt her." Scrooge cleared his throat. "And speakin' of Webby."

"It was one text! Give me a break."

He raised an eyebrow. "I know ye've never been the maternal type-"

"Like you're the most paternal man yourself."

" _But she likes you_. I dunno why, but she does. So don't mess that up, ye hear?" Scrooge poked her square in the stomach. Goldie ignored the age-old tingle of being tickled. "I know full well that yer gonna find a way to screw me over 'fore this ends. But not Webby. You treat her right."

Goldie blinked at him, surprised. "You really have gone soft, haven't you?"

Scrooge looked like he'd been slapped. He turned away. "Aye. Maybe I have."

 **Author's Note: Short, I know, but I felt like writing some Scroldie interaction.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	3. Kinky

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

"Hey, how you all doing?" Goldie greeted, shaking hands with the boys. She didn't pretend to know them well enough to separate their voices and faces, but they didn't seem to mind, giggling and cooing over the two of them having spent some alone time at the mansion. "Honestly, how do none of you have wallets? Oh, wait, I got one." She held up a tattered bit of brown leather. "Wait a second. I know this wallet."

"Aye, 'cause it's mine." Scrooge ripped it from her hand, glaring down at Louie. "What did I say 'bout pick-pocketing family?"

He crossed his arms in a pout. "I just wanted to hold it."

A giggling caught Goldie's attention, just in time to see Webby slipping out of the back of the limo with Lena. Webby caught her eye, balked for just a second, then went over and shook her hand with a determined little smile.

"Hi," she said, shy. "I'm Webby."

"So I've heard." No wallet on her either. Pity. "Is this Ms. Lena?"

Webby lost half her already insignificant height from sheer embarrassment. "Yes, ma'am."

"I spied on you," Lena said without prompting. "I didn't mean to. I just wanted to know who this weird lady was. Then you and Scrooge got all goo-goo eyes and I bailed." She glanced at the girl. "You've talked to her about me?"

"Better question," Goldie broke in before Webby could spit out a half-baked lie. It was true that she hadn't been a duckling in many, _many_ years, but she could only imagine how mortified she'd feel if her childhood crushes had found out she was asking for advice on how to handle them behind their backs. "How did you spy on us without me noticing?"

Lena blinked at her a moment, scanning her features, then shrugged. "I was a shadow. Duh."

"She's my shadow!" Webby gestured to her webbed feet- which, now that Goldie was looking, lacked the typical dark shape underneath and between them. "Well, not really. I gave her my shadow so she could use it- and some magic- to make herself a new body! It was pretty cool."

"You know selkie skins? Think of it like that."

"This conversation has wandered down a very strange path."

"Welcome to my life, lady."

* * *

"I know I'm wasting my breath, but do I need to pencil in any date nights? I like to keep my schedule accurate."

Scrooge made a noise reminiscent of a cat with a hairball.

Huey gave him a thumbs up from across the table. "Gotcha."

"Awww, come on, Uncle Scrooge!" Louie set his chin on his hands, batting his eyelashes. "Treat the lady to a little romance. Buy her dinner, make her a bouquet, take her to Hamburger Hippo. _Something_."

Goldie let out a playful sigh. "Oh, Scrooge, you never take me anywhere anymore."

Scrooge slammed his hand on the solid wood table. "This is a very temporary livin' arrangement! If it weren't fer her saving my soul from the very pits of hell, I wouldn't've agreed to it in the first place!"

"You didn't agree, Scroogey. I just came by regardless."

He shot her a dirty look.

"You said that last time," Donald said, deadpan. "And that ended with her dumping you on your wedding day a year and a half later."

Dewey whistled. "Cold."

"I didn't dump him! There were centaurs. Also fire." She reached out to touch his hand, delighting in the mixed happiness and irritation in his eyes. "Ask me again sometime. You never know."

Beakley appeared from the kitchen, handing out plates full of burgers that- if Goldie knows Scrooge- are _this_ close to charcoal, with a lot of cheese on top. Huey carefully cut his into pieces before eating them, mindful of size and the very possible threat of choking. Dewey bet he could eat half in one bite, and proved it, though he looked quite sick after. Louie just ate, taking plenty of drinks of water between bites. His Pep sat mostly full.

 _I can do this_ , Goldie thought to herself. _I've memorized credit card numbers more complicated than three short names. They're clearly very different boys. I just need to pay attention._

"Sit up and stop picking at your food," Beakley scolded Lena, who looked very disinterested in the whole ordeal. "If you don't like it, just tell me, okay? I'll make you something else."

"It's whatever."

Webby reached out to touch her arm. "Lena, please."

A conflicted expression crossed Lena's beak. She stared at the hand, her face, then her burger. She turned and started to eat, though judging by the scrunch in her face she was far from happy with the flavor. Beakley nodded, satisfied, before finally looking at her. "You'll have to excuse me. I don't cook for criminals."

"Is this about the closet?"

"This is _absolutely_ about the closet."

"Ach, fine!" Scrooge burst in, sawing his in half with an old butter knife. "Pull me tail feathers why don't ya'."

Goldie accepted the morsel with a smirk. "I mean, I could, if that's what you'd like."

"Eww!" they all chimed, various levels of disgust on their beaks.

 **Author's Note: Another short one! This is more to establish characters and interactions than anything else. I'll be spacing the timeline out a bit more from here. (I'm a big fan of Vaguely an Eldritch Horror Being Lena, so sue me)**

 **-Mandaree1**


	4. Scrooge 'I don't do feelings baka' McD

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

Of all the things to inevitably loosen Scrooge's metaphorical belt, Goldie hadn't expected children to be it. Granted, she was almost entirely certain Beakley had forced him into a good portion of it, but it still came from a place of caring. The Scrooge McDuck _she_ knew would have never allowed for soda, or toys, or pay-per-view movies. He swore that drew back to his almost constantly stolen wallet, but no child could one-up him on purpose, especially if he had his guard up.

Forget soft- he's practically hard-boiled.

But, deep down, Goldie is pleased by it. She revels in the domesticity of watching movies together under a blanket, a strong arm around the back of her shoulders (and, yeah, okay, it'd taken Scrooge an hour to work up the courage, and Goldie finds that hilarious). It's probably silly, but she _did_ just spend a few months in the desert, then in Hades, and she's tired of adventuring and hopping around for a little bit. Theft, not so much. She's never gotten tired of gold.

"Ye came at a bad time," Scrooge rumbled, his voice quiet. "No adventures fer a while now. S'made us all a bit antsy."

"No adventures?"

"None."

"That doesn't sound like you. What happened?"

He shrugged. "The boys are in school."

Goldie snorted. "You can't really expect me to believe that you haven't been on an adventure lately because _three children_ can't come along with you? You were doing it before now."

"Aye," he said, squeezing her arm in a 'you got me there' gesture. "De Spell gave them a pretty bad scare. I've tried since then, but the energy just ain't there."

"Ah, Magica." Goldie nodded along knowingly. "She always was quite the piece of work. Did I ever tell you about the time she tried to give me poison coffee but she mixed up the vials and I ended up a wereduck for a year?"

"Poisoning drinks _is_ a running theme of hers."

"She's god-awful at it."

Scrooge grunted an agreement. "The kids've had plenty of near-death experiences, 'course, but nothin' like this. I wasn't there to keep them safe. And then there was Lena almost dyin'. It's... put a damper on things."

"I was under the impression that Lena was her shadow? Why would she kill her own shadow?"

"We donnae discuss that."

"The why, or Lena being-"

" _That_ ," he cut her off sharply. "Lena's one of us now. In a way, she was back then, too. Magica didn't take none too kindly to that."

Goldie leaned back and grabbed the remote, turning the volume down slightly. "A thought occurs to me."

"Uh-oh."

"I'm not the most well-versed with kids, but maybe putting them in danger isn't good for them?"

Scrooge's scowl seemed to droop even further down. "The McDuck blood is runnin' in their veins! Danger is a part of who they are!"

"Then maybe ease them into it? I couldn't've learned to rob banks without some BnE's under my belt beforehand."

"Bah!" He amped the volume back up. "We jump in headfirst all the time."

"We're _different_ , Scrooge," Goldie said. "We've lived for a long time now. We've seen the world and found our destinies. If one of us died tomorrow, it would be a shame, but we have enough to be satisfied. Your kin don't."

Scrooge grew quiet, contemplating. His arm didn't leave her shoulders. "Ye really think we've done enough?"

She shrugged. "There's always more to do. But counting cards won't always be enough to stave off the devil."

"Dance with me?"

" _Excuse me_?"

Scrooge slipped out from under the blanket, standing tall in the light of the television. He held out a hand. "Yew up for a little twirl, O'gilt?"

Goldie laughed and grabbed his hand. There's a slight chill as she stands, blanket falling to the floor. She allows him to walk her away from the couch, positioning themselves in a simple ballroom style. Goldie considers making a quip about letting her lead, but the glow in his eyes begs her not to. This is clearly important to him.

"Goldie," he said. "We've known each other for some time now."

"Holy stars," Goldie said. "You're proposing again, aren't you?"

"Yew did say to ask," Scrooge commented, but he looked sheepish and wary at her response. "We've done most anything, Goldie. Except fer this."

A slightly delirious chuckle brought her forehead to touch his. "We all know this isn't for us. Not for forever."

"Perhaps."

"Scroogey, you know how deeply I like you." A pause. "You do, don't you?"

"Aye. And the same to yew."

"If we tried to force ourselves to be like this all the time, we'd end up hating each other. I won't have you hating me, Scrooge."

Scrooge pulled back to meet her eye. "And what if I want to stay this way? I end up some old fuddy duddy who hangs out on the couch and grumps about the weather? Would _you_ hate _me_?"

"You already do both those things. Hasn't stopped me from enjoying your company yet."

"Good," he said, then pulled away, clearing his throat. "We should, uh, we should get back ta' that movie."

Goldie pecked his cheek, watching him turn stop sign red. "I suppose we should."

 **Author's Note: More Scroldie! This was more about the background of the family itself, which has hit a strange place. Between Lena being the newbie to the family and the shadow war being the first adventure they've had without some level of Scrooge- be it with them or the knowledge that they could call him for help- they've all hit a snag.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	5. Goldie naps like an old lady

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

Goldie woke herself with an ungainly snore. She was on the very edge of what was a quite large bed, one arm dangling off, and she was alone. She sat up and stretched, trying to decipher how Scrooge had gotten out of the room without stirring her. She shrugged it off and slipped into the spare sleep shirt she'd brought to the mansion with her, not really in the mood to bother with fancy clothes or makeup quite yet.

A note on the end table caught her eye. Goldie picked it up and read it aloud. "'Goldie, a last minute business emergency came up. Be back in a couple of days. Maybe it'd be best if we found you your own room. Scrooge'." She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, what a baby. I refuse one little proposal and he goes running off into the night."

Goldie slunk out of the bedroom and into the living room, flopping onto the couch cushion with a sigh of relief. It was far too early on a weekend for the children to be awake- at least, she thought it was, anyway- so she flipped the TV on herself. Exhaustion weighed heavily on her old bones; no matter how full of spunk she tried to be, there was no denying that a trip to the land of the dead takes a lot out of a woman.

It was hard on her pride to admit to dozing on the sofa, but Goldie found herself startled awake by a flashlight beam to the face. She sat up and looked around, wiping away the eye crust. The sun had risen decently high in the sky- around noon, she'd guess- and the channel had turned from some weird commercial broadcast to a cook-off.

"I'm hungry," she commented.

"I'm Webby," Webby returned, flicking the flashlight off. "Have you seen Lena? We're playing hide and seek."

"That sounds almost normal of you."

"Right now she's champion of the house because she can become a shadow, but this-" she waggled the flashlight around. Now that Goldie was paying attention, she could see the runes carved into the gold-tinted handle- "is totally gonna put me over the top. _Revolution_!"

"The normal has worn off," Goldie said. "By the way, Scrooge left me a note about an emergency business deal. So I guess I'm doing the babysitting thing for a few days?"

"No. Absolutely not." Beakley rounded the corner with her typical scowl and a platter of pancakes. "I wouldn't trust you around a marshmallow, let alone a clutch of impressionable hatchlings."

"Are those for me?"

"Mr. McDuck's orders." She roughly set it down on her lap. "I figured it'd be best to give you something to eat. One ghost haunting this place is enough."

"Aww, Bentina. I love you too."

Beakley ignored that jab, ruffling Webby's top feathers. "You go seize the day, dear. I'll call when dinner is done."

"I've got a checklist of rooms to search!" Huey chirped from somewhere behind the couch. Goldie stops pretending to be even slightly interested, cutting a triangle out of her brunch. Webbed feet pitter-patter away, leaving her to the quiet. Or so she hoped, anyway.

"Ooh, a baking show!" Dewey flipped onto the opposite end of the couch. "I love these! I think it's 'cause they're, like, full of stuff no one ever actually eats, so I can be completely confused by everything and no one laughs!"

Goldie blinked at him a second, unnerved by how flippantly he was talking to her. Didn't children find old people intimidating? She had, back in the day. Not to mention the list of crimes she'd committed since meeting them- not many, but Goldie knew that stealing a pencil was enough to send some ducks into hysterics. "Don't you want to play hide and seek?"

He scooched back a little, getting comfortable. "Not really. Playing against Lena and Webby is pretty scary, but pitting them against each other is even scarier. I'm not even sure they'll survive the day. Also, Huey found me already, so I'm out."

"Ah."

"You gonna share those?"

"Over your dead body."

"You know, that's fair."

Goldie scooped herself up some hashbrowns. "I must say, you seem pretty nonchalant around me."

Dewey raised an eyebrow. "I'm pretty what?"

"Relaxed. It took Scrooge seventy years to get up the gall to ask me for my middle name." She gestured to him with her fork. "You're watching TV with me."

"Oh. That." He shrugged. "It's kind of like hanging out with an older version of Louie. Only, you know. You're blonde. Is that natural, by the way?"

Goldie coughed into her fist, amused. "At one point, yes. I just liked the color too much to let go of it."

"Neat."

"Kid?"

"Dewey," he chipped in.

"Dewey."

"Yeah?"

"You officially have more guts than Scrooge McDuck."

Dewey blew a raspberry, rolling his eyes. "I coulda told you that."

Later on, when Webby and Huey returned, defeated, Goldie would discover that Lena had been hiding inside Dewey's shadow all along, and watched with a strange sort of pride as they split their cut from the betting pot.

 **Author's Note: Some individual bonding! Scrooge is really bad at announcing plans lol.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	6. Ambrosia isn't legal before 50 but Gdgaf

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

 **Animation Adventures \- I hate to disappoint, but Louie's actually gonna be our focus next chapter! He hasn't vanished with Scrooge- he's just hanging in the background for a bit, I guess. =)**

 **...**

Goldie is long-privy to what a shadow monster looks like, and shows no surprise as the bright blue figure of Lena struggles feebly to release herself from a perfectly placed crystal in the center of the otherwise empty room as she walks inside.

"Do I want to know?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Ask Scrooge!" Lena snapped, propping her arms on the crystal. Her long, ghost-like tail seemed to almost vanish inside the stone. "I was just checking out the layout of the other bin! I didn't even touch anything!"

"Well, the kids are looking through the archives to find you a way out of there. I'd say an hour or two, tops." Goldie settled against the wall, sliding to the floor. "Why are you in the old bin?"

"Why do you even know what the old bin _is_?" she replied.

"Honey, don't even kid yourself. I've stolen from every aspect of Scrooge's fortune, supernatural or cash." She fished through her pockets a moment, finding and pulling out a flask. "Want a sip? It's cheap knockoff ambrosia from hell."

Lena sunk into the wall and swam over to her. "I have to, just from that sentence alone." She materialized a hand and took hold, slugging it. Lena pulled back with a hiss of displeasure. "Wow, that's gross. I though ambrosia was supposed to be, like, the best flavor ever."

"Hence the cheap and knockoff bit." Goldie swirled it around before taking a drink. "They got the heat just right. The Gods are all spice-fiends. Odd question, but I didn't think shadows could drink?"

"I can make parts of myself human," the shadow slunk around the crystal, reminding Goldie of a coiled snake. "I just don't wanna make my legs fleshy. That would probably turn out bad."

"Ahhh, gotcha."

"This is my 'real' form, I guess?" Lena spread her fingers out, studying the see-through portion in the middle. "Webby gave me her shadow so I could exist in this realm, and I used magic to make myself a body, but I'm still a shadow."

"I doubt that."

"Yeah?"

Goldie waggled the flask at her. "I've seen more than my fair share of shadow creatures, young lady, and I know they're bound to someone. You're free."

Lena snorted and held up her wrist. "I'm not free- I just got a different master."

"Oh."

"Yeah, Webby isn't too fond of the idea either. But it's not like there's anything I can do. The only one who can release me from needing a master is Magica, and I'm not about to ask her for any favors." She paused. "And don't get the wrong idea by that, okay? Webby's never _made_ me do anything. I'm just bound to her."

" _Oh_ ," Goldie said, this time with a different inflection. "Is Magica a safe topic now?"

Lena tilted her head to the side. "Who said it wasn't?"

"Scrooge, actually."

"Typical," she griped, rolling her eyes. "He acts like I'm made of glass just because I've had a rough time. But I'm not! Shadows are some of the toughest things imaginable. Between you and me, I think he just hates to think about the fact that I've been around for fifteen years and he didn't even know."

"That sounds like him," Goldie agreed. "Speaking of between you and me, what were you doing down here, anyway? I know for a fact that this is one of the nicer creature traps he owns."

Lena paused, looking her over suspiciously. "I'll tell you, but only if you tell me why Scrooge left."

"I rejected his proposal." She nonchalantly took a sip of ambrosia. "We're already married in four or five dimensions now. I could recite the vows in my sleep. One more wasn't any big deal."

"Ew, gross. Old love."

"It's very gross. You?"

Lena sighed, rolling so she was hanging off the very pointy edge of the crystal. Goldie wondered if she could feel that in her current state. "I just came down here to make sure the doors were all closed. He's tried going off on his own for boss battles before."

"And?"

"They were. But some of his rations and stuff is gone, so I'm pretty sure he went off to climb a mountain or something."

"That's how he spent our third honeymoon," Goldie commented. "Don't take it personally, kid. He does his best, but he's pretty daft."

"You're taking this all in stride."

"Well, it'd be a bit hypocritical of me if I didn't, wouldn't it?" She finished the ambrosia off and re-pocketed her flask. "I do the same thing all the time."

"You _could_ both try to be more open and discuss stuff."

"True, but that would be boring."

"Yeah, it would be." Lena set her chin on her hands. "Deep down, I'm not really surprised. That you old geezers need shadow traps and go on life-threatening adventures instead of talking out your feelings. That's just kind of how it is in this house. The other bin is downstairs, but all the equally crazy people are just above it."

Goldie laughed. "That's a very nice way of putting it, yes."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"When d'ya think you'll be leaving? Webby really likes you, so I figure it's fair we give her plenty of time to get adjusted to the idea you'll be gone."

"Does she always like bad role models?"

"I mean, she adopted me, so..."

"Fair enough. As for when I'll leave..." Goldie stared at her hands, trying to decipher when the idea had become so foreign to her. Well, foreign wasn't the right word. Distant, more like it. She knew she would leave- the date just seemed ages away. "I suppose I'll leave when I have a reason to."

 **Author's Note: Being a magic creature in a house full of anti-magic traps must suck.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	7. This title is too long for ff check ao3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

There is plenty of magical ways to dye hair, but Goldie instead requests Beakley buy her a bottle of the regular store blonde instead. She's pretty sure the housekeeper would snap her like a twig if she tried to go searching for treasure with Scrooge gone. Which, really, isn't her fault. If anyone was to blame, it was Scrooge, for assuming Goldie was anything even resembling a babysitter.

She's waiting for the dye to settle into her towel-wrapped hair, grungiest sweatshirt she could find on, when there's a knock on her door. In comes one of the triplets, dressed in a semi-fancy green suit, wheeling in a tray.

"I've got nutmeg tea and sandwiches," he said.

"I _despise_ nutmeg tea," Goldie said. "But I'm hungry, so proceed."

The boy hopped up on the sheets next to her, taking in her wardrobe with a critical eye. "Well, we do dress for the job we want, don't we?"

"What job do you want, then? Cart boy?"

"Touche."

"Besides. Dye stains clothes like you wouldn't believe. I'm not wasting any of my good stuff on this." Goldie pours the tea into a cup, setting it in front of him. "Which one are you again?"

"Louie." He took a sandwich. "Not a lot of folks ask us that, believe it or not. They just kind of grunt and gesture. I think they think it's more polite? Mostly, it's just annoying."

"I have a lot of people ask me if my name is legitimate," Goldie responded. "I know that's not the same, but it's all I've got to compare."

"Is it?"

"I've been using it for over a century now- that makes it pretty damn legitimate."

Louie sucked in a breath, caught between surprise and laughter. "Ooh, you swore. Beakley's gonna take the soap to you."

Goldie gave a one-shoulder shrug. "I'm more concerned about her taking a butterfly knife to me." The sandwich ends up consisting of ham and cheese- but, really, she can't expect caviar from a ten year old, can she? "Alright, enough small talk. You didn't get all dolled up and make me lunch to chat about your name, did you?"

"You think I'd put that much effort into it if I did?" Louie asked, hand to his chest as if shocked. "Heavens no. I'm just curious about your long-run here, and I thought I ought to look the part."

"Is that so?"

"Yup. I'm a bit of a con myself, you see. And you _are_ technically on my territory."

It would be ever-so-easy to lift him by the back of his shirt and toss him over the banister, but Goldie was pretty sure that was against the rules. Besides, she added mentally, putting her chin on her hand, it was far more fun this way. It's not often someone comes walking up to her with the idea that they can best her. "Fair enough. Well, let me put it to you simple, Louie. I'm currently in a mostly uninhabited mansion, being pampered from beak to tail, with the only major drawback being that I can't punt you little rugrats out a window. I'm splurging a bit before I think of something that'll get me kicked out."

"Hmm," Louie said. "Can I make a suggestion?"

"Oh, I have to hear this."

"I know of more than a few expensive trinkets in the other bin. I- _ahem_ \- I took stock of them the other day."

Goldie's eyebrows rose. "You're... trying to help me steal?"

"Something like that."

"Why?"

"Why not?" he shot back. "This town is small potatoes. Helping out someone as infamous as _Goldie O'Gilt_ could help cement me in with the big boys." Louie finally took a sip of tea- she imagined it couldn't be all that hot by now. "The bin is mine. You can have anything else."

"I see," she said, sounding contemplative. "So, how'd you pull it off, bigshot?"

"Excuse me?"

"You say the bin is yours- that implies you've got a hand in the doubloons." Goldie leaned back slightly, giving off the impression of her full height. She wasn't all that tall, really, but he's not exactly a strapping young lad. "You're stealing from Scrooge."

Louie set the cup down with a dull clank. "I am offended! I'm just a little boy, trying to help my Great Uncle keep some of his dignity-"

"Save it." She took a triumphant bite of her sandwich. "Can't con a con, honey. _Especially_ not an old con."

He inhaled, pressing his pointer fingers to his beak. "Okay, I both hate you and love you right now," he said. "I'm not stealing from Scrooge. Now."

"But you _were_."

"There may have been a little bamboozling, yes." Louie held up a pinch. "Not much, I swear."

Goldie was impressed, but she didn't let it show. "And how'd you manage that?"

"It wasn't all that hard, honestly. Scrooge loves to drag me to work with him- says it'll teach me how to make a proper dollar. Then he gets caught up in whatever and I do my own thing." Louie cleared his throat properly this time. "My point is that if he suspects you're stealing from his bin, he'll catalog it, and then we're both in trouble."

"Sounds like a _you_ problem to me, kid."

"Look-" he started, but Goldie cut him off.

"Listen. I'm impressed with what you've managed to pull off, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna keep it in consideration for any future schemes of mine." She waved a hand dismissively at the tea kettle. "Take that with you on the way out, alright?"

"I had to, okay?" Louie burst out, surprising her. "There's fun cons and then there's cons you hate to do, but you gotta do 'em. I needed that money. _Uncle Donald_ needed that money. And if you have an ounce of self-respect you'll respect that and butt out."

"What would Donald need gold for?"

"Boat repair isn't exactly cheap."

"Ah. Is he aware-"

"Of course not. He thinks I snuck some gold home for myself. I... he can't find out, alright? Uncle Scrooge and Uncle Donald have always been shaky. I don't want to be the reason all this nice stuff ends." Louie picked a piece of lint off his dress shirt to avoid looking at her. "I dunno if you care about Uncle Donald, but you love Scrooge, don't you?"

"Huh," Goldie said, smacking her lips. This was not the way she expected negotiations to go. "He was... not good. After Della and Donald left."

"Exactly! And it's not like I'm asking you to not steal- just to hold off for a bit." Louie clapped his hands together. "Please? I'm _so_ close to breaking even, and you can take whatever amount you normally steal after."

"You could blame it on me."

"But that's lame and I already put in _effort_."

"Can't argue with that logic," she agreed, nonchalant. "Alright, fine. I don't see how getting a little extra scrounge time is gonna hurt me."

 **Author's Note: Today, on Counting Cards: Small Child Begs Thief Aunt to Chill.**

 **Side note, but I hear there's some bonkers bananas virus stuff floating around here lately. Be careful, guys.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	8. Scrooge, probably: i'm a mature adult

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

The fact of the matter was that Goldie, through no real fault of her own, had the attention span of a gnat. It had served her well in a lifetime of crime, quick getaways, and quiet rendezvous at cheap restaurants. That same sense of fulfillment wasn't easily found at a big mansion; and, sure, Goldie had had all the time in the world to replenish herself after the last few heists, re-color her hair (Beakley's bottle ended up producing a bright strawberry blonde Goldie wasn't entirely certain was an honest mistake or the housekeeper's way of getting to her, but it was a simple enough fix), lounge around and catch up on her soap operas and just generally be a slob.

But she's _more_ than that. She's Goldie O'Gilt, _damnit_ , and she shouldn't be eating a lame cheese platter at three a.m. and watching some R-rated film like a randy teenager trying to slip something naughty while the parents were sleeping, but house arrest and Beakley had degraded her to this point. At least Duckworth would've been kind enough to leave her some whisky.

"Oh, _honey,_ " she said, wincing sympathetically as the main lady undressed. "You're still red from de-plucking. Get some lotion and chocolate and call it a night."

A rattling in the distance made her hit the mute button on her remote, head cocked slightly. Beakley had retired earlier, and Goldie knew that Donald was far too stubborn to come in asking for anything regardless of the hour. Something glass hit the floor with a guttural noise that was probably a curse. Goldie grabbed the butter knife she'd brought out with the cheese platter and tested its sharpness. It wasn't anything fancy, but she's done more with less. She turned the TV off and set the remote on the table, waiting until her eyes adjusted to the darkness before moving out.

The noises led her to the kitchen. The door was cracked, spilling light into the hallway. Dumb move, Goldie thought, pressing her back against the wall. She twirled the knife around and waited without blinking.

The door creaked further open, and Goldie lashed out. A flash of brown and her butter knife was embedded in what looked vaguely like beaver furs.

"Goddamnit, Goldie!" A familiar voice growled. Scrooge dropped the hunk of furs from his shoulder to glare at her proper. "There's a pricey chupacabra skin in there!"

She straightened, smiling in spite of herself. "Then maybe you shouldn't sneak into your own house next time, you big baby."

"Yew've done somethin' to yer hair," he observed.

"Blame Beakley for that one."

"Join me fer a cuppa tea 'fore bed?"

Goldie hefted the fur off the ground. "If you insist."

Scrooge gazed at her a second, smiling, before something caught his eye over her shoulder and it fell. "Huey? What're yew doin' up this early?"

"Are you serious?" Huey asked, scoffing. Goldie politely moved out of the line of sight as the triplet came closer. "You just left! There wasn't even a note! How was anyone supposed to sleep with you gone like that?"

"Oh." Scrooge looked ashamed. "Well, I'm home now, so yew can rest easy."

He took a step closer. "You don't just _leave_ like that, Uncle Scrooge. Even if you can't tell us where you're going, you usually leave us a note or something." Huey waved a hand in her direction. "Instead you left us to this criminal- who, I might add, threatened to toss Louie over the banister!"

"I didn't threaten to throw him over the banister," Goldie interjected. "I specifically said that that one downside to this babysitting business was that I _couldn't_ toss children over the banister."

"Ye have a point," Scrooge conceded. "This wasn't my most thought out plan."

"Just call somebody next time, okay? I don't care who."

Goldie watched with no real surprise as the feathers on Scrooge's neck rose defensively, fluffing the short duck up in hopes of making a more intimidating figure out of him. "Lad, I'm an adult. I donnane need a curfew and I certainly don't require check-ins."

"This isn't about you!" Huey spat bitterly. "We're just kids. We _need_ you. If nothing else, we at least need to know you're not dead in a ditch somewhere!"

The fight left Scrooge in a millisecond. His face softened. "Huey, I didn't mean-"

Huey turned away. "I'm going to bed." They watched without speaking as the boy trailed back into the shadows, calling a distant good night over his shoulder. For a boy wearing a cap at three in the morning, he's good at cutting deep.

"So," Goldie prompted. "Tea?"

Scrooge took the bundle from her arms with a sigh, shaking his head. "No, thanks. I think I'll be heading off to bed meself."

"I'll join you."

"I'd rather ye didn't."

She blinked at him, surprised, as he left her to her cheeses and bland pornography. "Oh. Okay."

 **Author's Note: This one was all sorts of changes lol. First it was gonna be Goldie, randomly taking the kids on an adventure (and basically half-neglecting them) and coming home to find Scrooge back and he displeased with Goldie taking His Kids. Then it was gonna be Lena instead of Huey, but I realized that I needed some Huey stuff.**

 **Also there might be some capitalizing errors. I just got my nails done, and they're super pretty and I love them but the shift key is being a bit of a pain.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	9. Webby pwns her Aunt Goldie

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

"I blame you for this," Beakley said whilst pouring her a glass of milk.

Goldie rubbed at a baggy eyelid. It hadn't been worth trying to go to bed after three, so she'd stayed up. "You're gonna have to be a bit more specific."

"I don't mean anything in particular- just overall."

"Gotcha."

The housekeeper set the plate of pancakes down with the deepest scowl Goldie had ever seen, and Goldie knew firsthand how deep Bentina Beakley could scowl. "Mr. McDuck left me no instructions when he left. I fed you anyway."

"That was very kind of you, Beakley." Goldie surreptitiously poked and prodded her pancakes, searching for any fluffy holes where poison could be hiding. "You have terrible taste in hair dye, I must say."

"You have quite the effect on him. A bad one. I'd hoped this time might be different."

She set her beak on her hand, eyebrow crocked. "We've known each other for more years than either of us would like to count. Don't pull that 'act of kindness changes the bad guy' baloney on me now."

Beakley sighed and shook her head. "It has nothing to do with that, and everything to do with Scrooge. But I suppose it was too much to assume you would care about anyone but yourself."

Goldie shrugged, staring out at the empty breakfast table with a frown. "That sounds like a you problem to me."

She scoffed and walked away, leaving the room with her head high. Goldie wondered if she felt she'd delivered some great punchline. But the thing is, at the end of the day, she's lived long enough to hear it all over and over again. It's too late for that now.

The pancakes are cold by the time she remembers they're there to eat. The mansion is as quiet as a graveyard despite it being noon. She's fairly certain Scrooge is sulking, and the boys... well, what does she know of children? Maybe they're sulking, maybe they're sleeping. Lena had left early on through a front window, stating with some irritation that the front door was bugged against magic. What did a shadow do during the daylight hours? You'd think they'd be nocturnal.

"Hey."

Goldie doesn't startle, but her fork makes one of those little screechy noises on the plate as Webby crawls onto a chair next to her. Beakley carts in some pancakes far quicker than she did for her, then vanishes all over again. Probably hovering outside the door, waiting for any sounds of struggle or argument. "Hey."

Webby looks at her brunch, then gently pushes the plate away. "What happened last night? I went to bed and now Uncle Scrooge is back and the boys are mad at him."

A wry smile flashes across her beak as she takes a sip of milk. "Your guess is as good as mine. We were about to share a pot of tea when the red one came downstairs and yelled at him. Haven't seen either since."

"Huey," Webby told her. Goldie doesn't want to admit she'd known that. "Yeah, we've all got our tempers, I guess. They'll work it out." She shrugged it off, looking more than a little uncertain about that. "I... never thanked you for covering for me, Ms. O'Gilt. With- with Lena."

"Don't call me miss. Make me feel old."

She cocked her head to the side. "But... you _are_ old."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I want everyone else to know that. They might start offering me the better seats on the bus." Goldie gives her elbow a nudge, but Webby just looks confused. "My comedy is wasted here. Just call me Goldie, okay? And don't thank me for basic respect. I'm a criminal, sure, but I still have dignity."

"Okay," Webby said. Goldie watched out of the corner of her eye as she gulped down half her glass of orange juice in one go. "Have you ever liked girls before?"

"More than my fair share." She waved it off dismissively. "Shouldn't you be having this talk with Beakley?"

Webby's smile faded. She wiggled her feet. "Probably. It's just... Granny worries about me. So much. I know she stays up at night when I go adventuring. She listens to the news while she works. I want to keep that worry to a minimum. If I can spare her a little of that, even if it's for stuff like this... I mean, it's only fair, isn't it?"

Goldie didn't respond.

"And she's always been a bit wary of Lena," Webby added. "She doesn't listen to rules or adults or safety. She's cool like that. Granny loves us both, and I don't want to drive a wedge there. I don't want them to be mean to each other again." She finally looked up from the tablecloth. "Is that selfish?"

"My concept of selfish is a bit askew," answered Goldie honestly. "Is family stuff always this complicated?"

"Our family is."

"It's yours. Not mine."

Webby shook her head. "You've got a chair at the table. Granny makes you dinner. You sit and eat and watch movies with us. I know it's temporary, but so is a lot of things around here." She watched intently as Goldie collected the glass of milk to avoid meeting her eye. "The only one here who doesn't want you to be part of this family is, well, you."

She thought back to Huey's words, and doubted it. "I'm a bit of a walking disaster," Goldie said. "It's always tended to drive most people away."

"Have you met any of us? We're all disasters. That's what makes it so fun."

It's not the first time she's heard that, but it's the first time in a long time. Goldie eats her breakfast in silence.

 **Author's Note: Poor Webby came downstairs to Family Drama.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	10. I'm a literal shadow monster, lady'

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

Goldie fastened her belt, pulling it through the loops of her brown shorts. She patted her pockets, finding her money, her phone, and the meager remains of Scrooge's wallet. It wasn't much, but not every visit had to end with a cool million in her account, either. She smoothed out her white camisole sweater and decided she was ready to go.

She took a second to scan the room before chucking a rope out the window, securing it to the headboard. The first step out blasted her with the cool night air. Goosebumps prickled her skin as she scaled to the ground. Goldie took off at a jog, adamantly refusing to look up and know if Scrooge and/or the kids could see her leaving.

"Going already?"

Goldie reluctantly came to a stop alongside the pool. Donald had half a hotdog on a paper plate, seated on a beach chair. "Something like that."

"No flashy fireworks or speeches?"

"I'm sorry to disappoint," she said wryly.

Donald rolled his eyes. He tipped his sailor cap her way. "Take care of yourself, you hear?"

"You too," Goldie replied, though she lacked a hat to gesture with, making it feel a bit hollow.

She climbed the fence, landing with a thud that would undoubtedly make her regret this whole debacle later. Goldie brushed some dust off and began the arduous journey down the giant hill the mansion sat on.

"I know you're there, you know," she said into thin air. "You can come out."

Her shadow split in half. Goldie watched with interest as it flashed blue before settling into the shape of Lena. "Sorry, force of habit."

"Come to say goodbye?"

"Does Mr. McDuck know you're leaving?"

"Would I have have climbed out a window if I wanted him to know?"

Lena shrugged. "How d'ya feel about a game of pool before you go? I know a pub off Quackmore with a bouncer so blind basically anyone can get in."

"Bentina would murder me if I allowed you near alcohol," Goldie mused. "Ambrosia is one thing, but scotch is another."

"I'm a shadow," she reminded her blandly. "My guts don't work like normal guts. 'Sides- I want to play pool, not get drunk."

The downside to abrupt leavings is that you rarely know where to go after, and Goldie has to admit some extra time to decipher where to head next would be nice.

"Fine. But I call solids."

* * *

"Just so you know, you didn't fool me for a second." Goldie aims and shoots, sinking a ball. "This is just some lame excuse to lecture me about family, isn't it?"

"Nah. I leave those to Webby and Huey." Lena impatiently tapped her cue on the floor as she worked out her move. "I spend most of my time outside the mansion. It's so suffocating. And you're the first lady to give me a run for my money in years."

"Webby can't beat you?"

"I'd never bring Webs to a place like this, but she probably could, yeah." Lena hit and missed. The balls clicked against the sides. They watched them roll. "Family stuff can get overwhelming, but you don't gotta run away. You can just... take breaks."

Goldie scowled at the pool table as if it had personally offended her. "I haven't had a family in a long time."

"I mean, you _are_ as old as dirt."

"That's part of it." Goldie sunk two, stepping back with a smirk. "But it's more about being a crook. Not a lot of folks look for family with my type."

"I'm a literal shadow monster, lady. Don't get me started."

Goldie laughed.

Lena regarded her a moment, eyes flickering up and down, her stick clutched to her chest like a spear. "Listen, this isn't any of my business, but you know you don't _have_ to be part of our family, right? Not if you don't want to be."

Her strike skipped, missing the cue ball by a country mile. Goldie straightened. "Where did you get that idea?"

"You _are_ planning on escaping into the night."

"I figure I've caused enough trouble for one visit. It has nothing to do with that."

" _Really_?"

"...Okay, so maybe it does _a little_ ," she confessed. "I'm not really into kids or keeping birthdays straight or anything even remotely like that."

Lena snorted. "You think _Scrooge_ is? _Beakley_? They're so stiff it's like talking to a wall. Donald is cool, but he always gets out the scrapbooks and cries and that's nice but _too much, man_."

"You make a good point." Goldie sipped at a glass of water. Best not to get tipsy when ten bucks is on the line. "Scrooge and I have had relations for a long time now. I enjoy his company. Kids are... well, they're almost the exact, perfect opposite of that kind of longevity."

"I can get that. But being fresh is nice. I only had Aunt Magica for _years_. I thought family was all about taking and fighting. Then I met them, and Scrooge hates magic but he pats me on the back when I do it, and Beakley hates that I don't follow rules but she makes sure I eat right. We're all learning to compromise."

"You've had a rough time," Goldie acknowledged. "I know what that's like."

"They hurt you, but sometimes you miss them more than anything."

"Do you?"

"I still call her Aunt Magica, don't I?" Lena knocked the white ball into the hole. "She might think I'm nothing, but even she can't erase fifteen years together."

 **Author's Note: I've only played pool for fun, never for serious, so don't hesitate to correct terminology ya'll.**

 **-Mandaree1**


	11. Remember when Timmy's dad kissed an eel?

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Ducktales series!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

"You know, I never got the point of keeping the big vault door in your office. Doesn't the money distract you?"

Scrooge looked up from his paperwork. He clicked his pen and set it aside. "S'not very often yew visit me at work. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

She scoffed. "I come here all the time."

"Snooping around and visiting aren't the same thing."

He had her there. Goldie propped her hip against his desk. "I'm leaving."

Scrooge blinked at her. He seemed a bit baffled. "When will ye be back?"

Goldie shrugged her shoulder vaguely.

"Oh. Yew mean _leave_ leave."

"What did you _think_ I meant?"

"I dunno, popping out for an adventure? Yew've never announced it before."

"I _was_ going to just... go. Like I do." She waved her hand. "But Lena convinced me to see you. She said style mattered."

Scrooge frowned at the paper, his mind elsewhere. _Tap-tap-tap_ went the side of his pen against the desk. Finally, with no real pleasure, he said, "I'll cover yer fare- air, bus, whatever."

"Oh?"

"I left yew with babysittin' duty. Consider it yer pay." He inched the chair back but didn't get up just yet. "I'm sorry fer that, by the way. I let me emotions get the best of me."

"Meh. The kids mostly left me alone. I got enough to eat. It was survivable."

Scrooge wasted no time in coming to stand beside her. He took her hand. "Stay the night?"

Goldie frowned. "Scrooge-"

"Jus' one more night," he begged. "I shouldnae been so cold. Let's have one more good night before ya go."

"Fine," she conceded. "But if this is a ploy to get me arrested-"

Scrooge chuckled. "I'd never call the cops on yew. After all, who'd believe me?"

"I love you," Goldie said. Scrooge tensed, breathing in and out his nose. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head, touching her arm. "Wanna see _why_ I keep my vault close?"

* * *

"They're pretty good at that." Goldie leaned on the shiny new railing. Far below, shapes bobbed up and down in the change. "I guess it makes sense that they'd inherit Donald's hard head."

"Aye." He slouched down next to her, eyes soft and fond even while he groaned. "I'm not as young as I used ta' be. I feel it in my knees."

"You haven't been young in a long time, Scroogey."

"Yer no spring chicken yerself."

"Hmm," Goldie hummed, not agreeing or disagreeing. "I should hope this isn't your way of asking for a clutch, because I went through menopause eons ago."

"Oh, absolutely not. I cannae imagine the havoc mixing the McDuck-O'Gilt lines would cause."

"You were almost a father, once. Did I ever tell you that?"

"Tell me? Yew sent me the bill."

"Did I? That sounds like something I'd do." Goldie let out a breathy cackle. "My memory isn't as sharp as it once was."

"I don't regret not havin' kids. I raised Donald and Della- that was more'n enough." Scrooge nodded to the ducklings. Lena slipped out of a pile, hoping to dogpile on Webby, only for the girl to whirl around and tackle her to the coins. "But _these_ kids are my legacy. I cannae leave this plane until i'm sure they can live up to that. And if that leaves me a feeble old geezer, then I'll just have to deal with that."

"You really have gone soft, haven't you?"

"Yes. Yew have, too."

Goldie watched Louie ducked beneath the surface with a laugh. He clearly had the most practice, though he mostly just dove and came back up, spitting coins like watermelon seeds. Huey studied every old, gum-stained dubloon he could grab, sketching in his book. Dewey chucked handfuls just to see how far they could go. For the first time, those little details mattered more than the actual money involved.

"Maybe I have," she said softly.

Scrooge finally broke away from the sight, grabbing both her hands. "I love yew, Goldie. I'd never ask ya to stay- it'd kill ya." He smiled at her, eyes just a little watery. "But you can't go dyin' before I do."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Only if yer up for it."

That infuriating smirk had her moving before Goldie even registered it, yanking him down that little bit so she could press her beak to his and shut him up. Scrooge stumbled in surprise, conking their foreheads together. She shoved him back and rubbed her temple, hissing in a breath.

She cracked open an eyelid. "Game on, codger."

 **Author's Note: A bit short lol, but we're in the home stretch! One more chapter and we'll be done. It's a shame, since I loved writing this a lot, but I'm not gonna drag this out either. =)**

 **-Mandaree1**


	12. The way to Scrooge's heart- wi-fi

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ducktales!**

 **Title: Counting Cards**

 **Summary: Goldie and Scrooge have known each other a long time now, and that's given them a special kind of closeness. Goldie can't say the same for the children he's dragging around with him now, but if she wants to continue the way they have she's going to have to learn. Too bad Goldie's never been good at being good.**

 **...**

Goldie had left the mansion more times than she cared to count- usually from a back door or window- but somehow, packing a duffel bag made it feel more permanent. Like she was going to walk through that front door and never come back.

Who knows, maybe she wouldn't. It was only a matter of time before this house blew up and Scrooge had to make a new one, and it wasn't like Goldie made a habit of visiting often. Once every five years was considering an anomaly (he was lonely, and there were tears, and Goldie didn't know Della Duck very well but she remembered her and her brother running side-by-side as ducklings and it hurt to think that was just... gone) and that was probably not going to happen again anytime soon.

"I know you're there," she said, zipping the bag shut. "Honestly, Duckworth- dead or alive, you could never get the one-up on me."

A blast of wind signaled the approach of the dog, who seemed to assemble himself mid-air. In his hands was a frosted wine bottle. " I had no intention to sneak up on you. Forgive me for the misconception. I needed to get this past the children."

"Is that what I think it is?"

He nodded, smiling just a little. "Spirits, straight from the spirit world. Think of it as a farewell gift."

Goldie let out a whoop. She took the bottle by the neck, feeling her fingers tingle at the cold as she unzipping the duffel and shoved it in. "Oh, Duckworth, I could kiss you. Y'know. If you weren't non-corporeal."

"I've never been more grateful to be dead, then." Duckworth proudly twisted the doorknob, holding the door open for her. "After you."

Despite this, the ghost didn't accompany her physically down the stairs, though Goldie didn't doubt that he was watching as she followed semi-familiar twists and turns to the front door, musing sardonically to herself that she had probably never legally entered or exited that way in her life.

She peered over the railing to find the whole lot of them waiting for her; Louie stared at his phone, probably still embarrassed over their encounter, while Dewey peered at the screen nosily and Webby awkwardly waved up at her. Huey was twisting his hat in his hands like a stress ball. Donald hovered near the oldest triplet, clearly only there for emotional support. Scrooge had his hat, spats, and cane, and even from here she could tell his eyes were a bit watery- he probably thought this was some big deal, the old softie. Beakley was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.

"This feels like an intervention," Goldie commented as she reached the first floor. "I'll have you know I can quit stealing anytime I like."

Beakley's hand went to her hair, pulling out a butterfly knife. "Don't end up dead, you hear?" She half-jokingly waved the blade at her. "I'll never hear the end of it if someone else does what I've failed to do."

"If you're that determined to off me, you should probably sharpen that knife."

"Implying I don't keep my blades in top-notch condition is begging for me to murder you in cold blood." Beakley patted her on the shoulder stiffly. "Safe travels, you crusty witch."

Goldie took the knife. "Drop dead, 22."

"Uh... miss Goldie?" She turned her head as Huey came forward, frowning. "You're not leaving because of me, are you? I know I lost my temper, but I promise it won't happen again."

"You kidding, squirt?" Goldie ruffled his feathers. "A little heat doesn't bother me. It usually makes stuff more fun. I'm just not the domestic type."

Huey moved in for a hug. Goldie held her hands up, torn between pushing him off and not wanting Bentina to immediately punch her for pushing him off. "We'll miss you, Aunt Goldie," he said into her shirt. "You make Uncle Scrooge happy."

"Don't ever call me that again," she pleaded.

Dewey raised an eyebrow as Huey came up on his side. "Did you seriously just hug the weird criminal la- _isthatherwallet_?"

"Is that my _what_?" Goldie marched over, snatching it from his hand. Huey laughed. "I'll have you know I _let_ you take that, shrimp."

Louie snorted. "Riiiight."

She walked away with a huff, coming up on Webby. She blinked at her, surprised. "Is that a shadow I spy?"

Webby shrugged. "It's how Lena sleeps, I guess?" She rocked on her heels, shy. "Can I get a hug too?"

Goldie opened her mouth, then looked at Beakley, who had pulled out another, more dangerous knife from places unknown, brandishing it with an eyebrow raised. "Sure, why not."

It was short, and awkward, and Webby pulled back like she was made of fire. "You'll... come back, right?"

"I always do. If you're lucky, I won't lock you in another cabinet when I do." Goldie strode over to Scrooge next. "Only one more goodbye, huh?"

"Fer now," he rumbled. "I'm sure it won't be long 'til somethin' sparkly catches our eyes and we meet again. Jus' remember what we promised, alright?"

"I never forget anything." Goldie gave him a goodbye kiss on the cheek- more for luck than anything else. She bent in close to mutter, "Between you and me, I changed all the wi-fi passwords. You're welcome."

Scrooge barked out a laugh. "Yer the best thing to ever happen to this household. This has to be a yearly thing."

"Hmm," Goldie said, trying not to sound as excited as the prospect made her feel. Once a year. She could pamper herself _once a year._ See them all _once a year._ "We'll see."

 **Author's Note: This was a lot of fun! I really like the dynamic between Goldie and Beakley, and I imagine she and Duckworth could be really good drinking buddies lol.**

 **There was A LOT that changed in this little beauty, believe it or not. As I mentioned previously, she was originally gonna take the kids chupacabra hunting while Scrooge was out, leading to tension between them because she took his kids on an adventure without his permission. But it felt a bit whiplash-y to change the scene are the bulk of the 'fic taking place in the mansion, so Scrooge left and came back with some skins.**

 **I also had a mini-subplot in mind with Webby going through some puberty stuff- specifically That Time of the Month- and Goldie reassuring her about it. I was super embarrassed when I got my first period as a kid (oh no blood! nevermind the fact that the first period is typically like two drops total) and I felt a bit of a responsibility to Younger Me to write chill female bonding over stuff like I had as a kid. I might mold it into a Della-Webby thing someday, idk.**

 **Regardless, I had a lot of fun, and I hope you all did too!**

 **-Mandaree1**


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